It’s been a while. As the great folk artist, Ani DiFranco once said “I just got a little distracted.” It’s been quite the journey. I find myself once again recreating myself, as it is an ongoing never ending process. What better time than the new moon. The following happened on Sunday morning.
I awoke at 3:30 am, charged, fully awake and realized it was the new moon and I hadn’t done a ritual or ceremony and felt this great pull to honour this time. It wouldn’t let me rest so I used my own process of recreation to take stock of my life and set a vision and goals for myself. I was left feeling super charged and excited about my life. I did a little prayer of gratitude. Then I looked out my large picture window to see the stars twinkling back at me, calling to me. I quickly dressed and went outside and was met with a mild breeze and incredible calm. I looked up and the first thing I saw were the Pleides, the seven sisters sparkling above, I always feel so connected to those seven sisters and whenever I see them it’s as if they are looking out for me. As I walked to the bottom of Timberland Road, the flight of a bird caught my eye. It landed in a tree just in front of me. Intuition told me it was an owl. I stood in front of the tree looking up intently. The bird rustled around unseen and then finally she revealed herself to me, perching on the branch just above. Indeed, an owl, so majestic and magical, her eyes open wide, her head turning from side to side as she took me in. I stood there for quite a while revelling in the power and magic of the moment. I opened my heart to the owl and sent her love and gratitude for her blessing. It took flight twice and perched nearby and the third flight disappeared into the night. I returned home, lit my divine passion candle and took it outside to accompany me while I soaked in the hottub, allowing myself to completely savour the moment. Feeling the immense blessing and magic of my life. So much gratitude. I returned the candle to my alter and said a prayer, an invocation of gratitude, offering myself in service to others, to spirit. Giving thanks for the confidence, resources, support and focus to attain a new level of being and service. I invoked and gave thanks for the next level of openness, connection and celebration of life I am entering, living and sharing.
It are moments like this that let me know that I am on the right path. I am intune with the rhythms of nature and trusting my intuition.
I had a conversation with a lovely man last night about trust, trusting ourselves, trusting others, trusting life, trusting spirit/god/the mystery. It’s been a long and arduous journey to get to this place of trust and still I struggle with it sometimes. But I do recognize that the more I trust and allow myself and life to unfold naturally and fully, the more rich, beautiful, magical and fulfilling my life becomes. We also talked about how we were both not trusted by one of our parents and often how our greatest challenges become our greatest gift. So part of my recreation of myself at this time is someone who trusts myself, others and life. I am excited to see what magic unfolds next…
By the way, I am totally new to this whole blog thing and when I logged on today I just noticed for the first time all of the comments on my previous writings and I have to say that I was very surprised and touched. So thank you to each of you who took the time to read my musings and respond. May my words continue to inspire you…
Not sure I am ready for sacrificing my life for my offspring yet though. Although, at times, it seems like I die in every moment to give birth to the next expression of who I am. How did I get here? I could have never planned my life to turn out the way it has. There is a quote by someone (can’t remember who), we have to give up the life we have planned to have the life that is waiting for us. This is my constant aim, to surrender my desires, my plans to the best of my ability to open to the great mystery and allow the magic of the unknown to reveal itself to me. Like the salmon I feel myself pulled by some invisible force to a place I faintly remember, home. Only this home is not an external place, it is a place both within and not within me. A place that is not located anywhere and yet it is where we meet heart to heart, soul to soul…a place where we unite. Where we die to our old selves and give birth to a new moment. I live in the place of wonder…what’s next?!
