why is it sometimes so difficult to just enjoy the ride? why do we or at least I take myself and life so seriously sometimes? after all as Bill Hicks so aptly says, “it’s just a ride”. and quite the ride it is! no matter how wise I’ve gotten, how experienced, how skilled, how many tools I’ve got in my tool belt…there’s always something that gets me. it truly is fascinating. at times a little disheartening and discouraging but in the end I find my way back to centre or at least humour and remember not to take it so seriously and just laugh and enjoy it. there is so much to be upset about and equally there is as much to be ecstatic about. I feel the key is to allow both and not get too caught up in either. all I truly do know is that when I let go of trying to figure it out and open to the wonder of life, magic does truly happen. yesterday one of our lessons was on radical wonder and awe, it got interrupted by the rain, which rarely if ever happens in this part of Israel and not long after we were blessed with the vision of a double rainbow! kind of puts things in perspective. it all truly is a miracle. as Albert Einstein one said, “there are two ways to live life, one is as if nothing is a miracle and the other is as if everything is.”
try it on, see what shift it makes in your day. perhaps a sharp curve to the right or a double loop twist…I figure we always get what we need. ENJOY!
It’s 1am and the wind is starting to gust and the rain starting to fall. It very rarely, if ever, rains here. Here being the Negev desert of Israel. There are threats of flooding which happens once every 10 years or so. It’s an exciting time. I obviously can’t sleep. I sit here in the field kitchen of our solar powered dome neighbourhood sipping fresh mint tea listening to the sounds of the goats and the wind and I wonder what’s going to happen next…will it just blow over? The wind seems to get stronger as if in response.
Earlier tonight I received a spontaneous lesson in Judaism when I asked my friend Nissim what it means to be Jewish. It’s not an easy thing to explain. He began with the book of Genesis and ended with the 10 Commandments and I sense we had only just scratched the surface. And the ensuing discussion had only just begun when it was time for me to leave, being far past my bedtime. I left at the point of discussing the controversial term ‘the chosen ones’. This has always been a point of contention for me, not feeling like I was one of ‘the chosen ones’, only being half Jewish and that half being on my father’s side. Before I had asked Nissim what it meant to be Jewish I had explained to him how I had grown up not connected to or identified with any religion or group, never really feeling like I belonged, even in my own family. We talked about how it can be difficult having ‘free choice’, he feels his choice was made before he was born, having been born Jewish. I really do feel like I very rarely, if ever, know what to believe. At that point we discussed how dangerous ‘belief’ can be, sometimes locking someone into their own prison and of course be the cause of many conflicts and even war. A perfectly understandable conversation to be having in the middle east as a storm is brewing.
I just stepped outside to feel the wind and allow some drops of rain to fall on my face. Coming from British Columbia I would have not thought rain drops to be so rare and precious.
I came here to make peace with my heritage, my roots and inside I feel as turbulent about it as the storm outside. I still don’t understand how a group of people that sets themselves apart from others is a ‘good thing’. I sense there’s a lot more discussion that needs to happen. As I left Nissim’s he was translating the section in the torah where it supposedly makes the infamous statement about being ‘chosen’ and he surprisedly (even to himself) said that it doesn’t even say ‘chosen’, it says ‘deemed to be holy and wanted’. I can accept that, if everyone else is deemed that way to. I wonder… there really must be something that I am missing. I am definitely intrigued even a little excited…will I truly make peace with being part of a Jewish family and not ‘feeling’ Jewish? They say world peace begins with inner peace. I have often felt like the microcosm of the macrocosm of this huge, no, grandiose issue. Being the spawn of Russian/Polish Jew on the one side and pure German on the other. My grandfather liberated my grandmother from the concentration camps in Poland. I know it’s heavy shit. I obviously chose this ‘crazy’ situation for a reason. Perhaps it is nearing time for it to all become clear to me, or perhaps like many of life’s mysteries, it never will. God only knows and time will tell. I’m feeling a little cliche this evening. I thinks it time to go feel some more rain on my face and try going back to sleep. Perhaps I’ll be enlightened in my sleep!
Every night I give thanks for the blessings of the day and there is so much it’s almost overwhelming. My days are so full with incredible learnings, beautiful surroundings, lovely people and encounters, the list goes on. It’s important to remember gratitude especially in times of seeming challenge, this is what pulls us through. I am grateful for all that I have and all that I am able to experience and especially for each person I was able to touch or be touched by in some way. Thank you.
Living in the desert in Southern Israel, studying Ecological Design, Permaculture and Community Building I am ever more present to the preciousness of life. All life. Water is scarce here, it is a fragile ecosystem. One must be aware of how choices and actions impact the environment and the lives of others. When we recognize the interconnectedness of all things we become more aware of and sensitive to the results and effects of our actions. What if we all took the attitude that this Earth truly is our ‘home’. Would you dump trash in your living room? Would you sprinkle poison on your food at the dining room table? Would you piss and shit in your drinking water? And yet we do. There is a more harmonious and sustainable way and it isn’t that difficult, in fact it is so exquisitely simple and common sense. When we make choices from a place of care, care for each other, care for the earth, all are taken care of. Imagine if everyone thought of the impact of their choices and actions and asked themselves some simple questions before doing anything? How can I do this in a way that is beneficial versus harming? How can I do this with the minimum effort and the maximum result? How can I do this in a way that uses readily available and renewable resources? How can I do this without producing waste or polluting in any way? How can I do this in a way that is sustainable? I guarantee you that for any project there is most likely a solution or design that answers all these questions and more. It just takes the perspective and intention. Unfortunately alot of choices have been made without these considerations and have resulted in catastrophe, destruction and our near demise, turning this beautiful life giving planet into a polluted, poisoned and abused place to live.
We can make different choices. We have the power, knowledge, skills and ability to make this planet into ‘Home Sweet Home’ for ourselves and for generations to come. Together we can repair the damage we have done and restore this planet, our home to the beautiful place it has the potential to be. It is our responsibility as stewards of this land to leave it better than we found it and the best thing about it is we can have a lot of fun doing it!! Plus you’ll feel good about yourself. 
